The rest of this post is more like a journal entry. You're welcome to read it but it is just thoughts and feelings of mine.
We hiked through a bit of sand once on top. There were jagged cliffs around us and we could tell the water carved through here during flash floods.
We had a rope to pull one another up ledges (Aaron is not light FYI). A couple of different times we had to scoot across v-necked sandstone. 15-20 feet below us were large holes filled with water and rocks. We waded through ponds and at the end Aaron swam across a very cold pond. He could not see nor touch the bottom. He encouraged me to come but I said I had had enough adventure. Looking at the other side I didn't think we'd be able to get up the wall, which ended up being the case. The pictures of Aaron straight up and down in the rocks was as far as we (he) went. I was happy that I hadn't gone because when he came back across the abyss I had to pull him up with the rope. He had nothing to stand on and there was about 3 feet of sheer rock to get up. There were no hand-holds and it was smoother than smooth. I began to think later what would've happened if I would've swam across too? He never could've lifted me up onto the ledge to get back out. Have you ever tried lifting something real heavy out of the water when you can't touch the bottom? All you do is sink. Scary to think of. If that was the worst thing that happened though I would stop right there. It gets worse. On our way back we had to cross the same chasms. I remember thinking while going across the first time "Crap, I've got to come back over this on the way back!"
We came to the final big V-neck (or H-neck if you will since it had a large opening at the bottom) to cross. Aaron went first (thankfully in hindsight). I'm not that tall 5'3" to be exact as you can see from the first time crossing I am stretched to practically fingertips and that wasn't the widest part. My ankles were at a painful angle and my shoes were slipping. At one point I just couldn't go anymore. I've never felt the way I did then at any other point in my life. I looked at Aaron standing 4 feet away and then looked down at the jagged cliffs and rocks 20 feet below. It wouldn't have been a nice straight down fall. I was sure I would've banged my head several times before ending up at the bottom. I'll tell you what, when people say your life flashes before your eyes before you die they're lying. I honestly thought I was going to die and I was only worried that Aaron would try to save me and die too. I've had a couple of near death experiences before (almost rolling our Ford Bronco down a ravine when I was 17 and one other time on my mission while we were hiking around with heavy backpacks on slippery rocks above a waterfall-the angels were with me that time) but they happened in a split second and I never had time to actually think about dying until afterward. This time was different. I didn't think of my loved ones and their futures, I just thought that it was really going to hurt like heck and I was scared. I was shaking and sweating and couldn't move. All I could hear was my heartbeat rushing in my ears. Aaron could see that I was scared and panicking. He calmly told me to look at him and asked me if I could move. I tried but I really think I was in shock at that point. Then my loving husband leaned as far as he could on tippy toes and put his hands on either side of the wall just under my feet. "Use my hands as a foot hold," he said. I was scared his hands would slip if I put any weight on them but I had no other choice. I inched my way the remaining few feet and finally got down. I hugged him, shaking like crazy. I told him I thought I was going to die. He kind-of smiled. I don't think he really realized how close I was to letting myself fall because I had no strength left. It was so scary for me and pretty stupid too, I shouldn't have pushed my limits that far. Anyway, it's over and I'm still here but I won't be doing that ever, ever again.
