life lately

Well, I read my profile and think back to the good old days when we were naive and happy. I don't write in a journal so this is it. If you're a friend or family and you can't handle black and white bluntness you might just want to skip this part. I get on my family website or my blog every day to just forget about my present life if it's only for a little while. As far as Aaron and I go--we're great, I can't state that enough. We are very much in love and I couldn't be more grateful for that. I know our girls know it too. We're all so happy when Aaron finally gets home. He's been killing himself working so hard lately. He gets up at 5:30 am and doesn't get home until around 7 or 8pm. He tries so, so hard to take care of his dear little family and it kills me to watch him. I am so thankful I've got such a good man for a husband. I don't know what I'd do without him. Christmas is around the corner. It's crazy, I NEVER thought in a million years that we'd be the family that people are helping. I know I am prideful but it's just so hard for me to accept. We used to be the ones helping. I guess what comes around goes around and I've had to eat a nice big helping of humble pie. We're starting to slowly pull ourselves out of the deep hole of debt we dug by trying to keep paying for this gigantic house. It's embarrassing to say that we might have to short sale or foreclose but we see it as the only way out now. My mom always used to tell me, "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is." Boy, was she right. We invested almost everything we had and what savings we didn't invest we used to pay our mortgages (we've got 5). We've been desperately trying to sell all of them but they all have prepayment penalties so we can't yet. As far as this one is concerned though, it's squashing us so between good advice and prayers we've decided to let it go. Who knows maybe we'll end up back in Ogden living in the ghetto. (It wasn't all that bad, actually we were happier there than living on the golf course here.) I have to look at the bright side and figure that way at least Olivia would learn spanish in kindergarten. I really hope that no one is still reading this, it is very personal but I posted it on the web so what did I think would happen? Oh well. Hopefully it will help my posterity out someday. We're not as bad off as it sounds on here. As long as we're not paying this mortgage we can afford more important things like food and diapers (yay for diapers, I can't imagine using cloth like my mom used to when I was a little girl, I remember poking April with one of those big pins. Ouch! Sorry Ape.) So, anyway that's my rant for the day. This is the first time I've written it down and it feels good. I know that within a year we'll be back to normal (other than credit scores that is). I guess I shouldn't feel too bad about it, we're not white-trash dead beats that refuse to make their payments (like soooooo many renters we've had in the past) we're just losing our home along with half of America right now. Thank heaven for a prophet and for food storage. We were very lucky that we listened to him and were prepared for this.
On a lighter note, although I'm admittedly not the best mom in the world, my kids are little rays of sunshine in this cloud of despair. They are so oblivious and therefore silly and crazy and funny. They make me laugh every day. Especially Macey, she's my littlest angel and her sweet smiles melt me. We've still got PLENTY to be thankful for! :)